School Assignments Thread

John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo · **John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo**

Have you ever had a really fun essay that you ever wanted to talk about, or have other people read? I sure do, so I'll get the ball rolling with my model of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal If anyone can think of a better last sentence, I ask you to speak up.

A Modest Proposal to Relieve the Burden Placed Upon the Taxpayers by those Without Legal Residence

It has long been a problem in our nation. We see them on the streets, begging and rotting, crowding the streets on a daily basis, and driving the public away from certain downtown areas in all cities of the nation. These unfortunate, unseemly residents of the street burden terribly the urban localities around them. The citizens in their general vicinity are paralyzed by fear, as these beggars and brigands clog downtown streets, discouraging business and sucking at the pockets of those generous enough to give to them currency or food. We could lock them all in prisons, but the resulting cost would be enormous, much greater than the burden already placed upon taxpayers. We could give them mass lodgings, but again, at the cost to taxpayers. We could attempt to enter them into work training programs and try psychological therapy, but the great majority of these parasites on society have demonstrated a lack of enthusiasm for participating in the greater whole of society.
Indeed, it is a vexing enigma, but it has a plausible solution.
We know that 1) we have no economically feasible way to house or care for said people, and 2) they have no inclination to support themselves. We therefore have only one recourse: a systematic control on the population of the unhoused. There are many possible methods of application for this population control, but I believe I have stumbled upon possibly the most efficient and economically reasonable solution.
I have asked around and have found that many a monied gentlemen would be quite willing to participate in my proposed plan. They have grown tiresome hunting mere forest animals of lesser intelligence and state that they would appreciate an increased challenge. Of the gentlemen I surveyed, I found the average willing to pay upwards of $1,000 a head for such a hunting license. I believe that this increased revenue in the tax system could be a great relief for the states and possibly even spur tax relief legislature to the economic top ten percent. Indeed, the boon in hunting equipment sales would help local economies considerably, especially in the already afflicted and economically malnourished urban sprawl.
Furthermore, said afflicted business and locales would find themselves with more patronage and businesses, further increasing possible economic benefits, as well as not robbing the pockets of those too generous. Also, the hunting industry in general will benefit from the greater sale of hunting attire and equipment�maybe even the food industry will benefit, not to mention the extra exercise given to otherwise sedentary citizens. Finally, the extra bureaucracy created in such a situation would provide extra jobs and thus employment for a city�s citizens.
This is by far the most logical, well thought out and plausible solution to the current crisis in homelessness. Indeed, with the support of the citizens of the United States, I�m sure we could pass legislation making such economically healthy activities not only legal but encouraged. Happy hunting everyone.
[/b]
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Goldfinger2K · **Goldfinger2K**

I have a paper due tomorrow hat i haven't started on except for note cards and gathering books. I was hoping to write about the past and present of Fascism but it turns out that i have to talk about the U.S. also(which I'm in no mood for). I might just use my last year's paper about the korean war, vietnam, and the CIA. I just hope it's governmenty enough and not too History-ish.

peace
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counterparadox · **counterparadox**

I convinced my english teacher to let me write a term paper on why Calvin and Hobbes is a literary medium. ^_^ If it turns out good, I may post it. It sure as hell is fun to write.

And by the way, A Modest Proposal is such a good read. Especially when your english teacher tells you a story a month before reading it of a pig that ate a human baby.
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Saiyoukai1015 · **Saiyoukai1015**

I just finished my last essay of the year, my god it was boring, I even forget what it was about, I hate essays, especially ones where the teacher tells you what you have to do.
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"Experience is something you only get after you need it"

RanmasLadyHalf · **RanmasLadyHalf**

Yesterday I handed in a 2,000 word essay written in French on the most important social changes under the 5th Republic (since 1958), and the factors that caused them. That one nearly killed me.

Recently I've also written essays on why the Barbarian Kings in Early Medieval Europe converted to Christianity and one on why Britain stayed out of the ECSC and EEC in the 1950s.

And tomorrow I have an exam on 20th Century history. Despite a hell of a lot of revision, I feel like I know nothing. Gah.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons....for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

Cooolcorey · **Cooolcorey**

I have a story that is a James Bond parody. It's not really an essay though, but it was fun to write. If I can find it then I'll put it up here.

FinalDivineDragoon · **FinalDivineDragoon**

I wrote an essay that seems to have practically no information on the internet, and seems impossible in real life.....

The Colorado River War and the Arizona Navy.

Trust me it happened. Now i'd like to see someone beat that for rarity.
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There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.

Zechs · **Zechs**

Ya, well I've always had a hard time with writing so for a while they've been putting me in english classes with the least amount of papers. Longest thing I've ever written is a 7 page research project on the Dangers of Cell Phones. I got to page 6 and collapsed.

Recently I had to do a 3 page essay on a religion called the Baha'i Faith but that's about it on hard or fun things. Usually if there's a choice between making some kinda collage thing or writing an essay I'm making a collage thing.

In 7th grade I did a diarama type thing on Guliver's Travels with a clay sculpture of Gulliver being tied down by tiny little army men covered in tan clay. Last year I chose to make a monopoly style boardgame from LOTR that turned out rather nicely. Last week I spent about 15$ on an old fashioned leather-bound blank book, and spent a couple days trying to make it look like a diary of Wolf Larson from Jack London's "The Sea Wolf" including burning pages, tearing and bending pages, dousing them in coffee, and spraying it with ocean smelling air freshener....ya

oh btw on that same project some kid came with a piece of notebook paper with a crappy drawing of a bow and arrow on it from Robin Hood and got a B!

ARG!!!!
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Bang.

counterparadox · **counterparadox**

There's a girl I know who spent so much time on this essay regarding some book we had to read. She got a 98 and was ranting about how a kid she watched do it the period before got a 97. I have the same teacher, different period. I got my paper back 2 days later. I had spent about 1 1/2 hours on it. I got a 99.

I haven't told her yet. I think she might get mad.
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anime is teh s uck

Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox

Force-Attuned_Krogoth · **Force-Attuned_Krogoth**

No horror stories can match what I was forced to do in eighth grade. One project was worth 25% of our English grade, and 35% of our Geography grade. (Mother-daughter teaching teams are scary) It had to be a 21-page research paper on a country. I was assigned Burkina Faso.
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dougisfunny · **dougisfunny**

I think a better phrased last sentence would be "So now, without further ado, Happy hunting."
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The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

counterparadox · **counterparadox**

Yep, FAK, you win. And I thought my english teacher assigned the shittiest stuff but no, that is way worse. Especially in 8th grade?

What did you get on it, by the way?
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anime is teh s uck

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John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo · **John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo**

counterparadox · **counterparadox**

On an italian test the other day, I was supposed to write the italian for "the first lesson" and I wrote the word for 'bedsheet' instead. Bedsheet is masculine, lesson is feminon. I got one point off for each word since I matched 'the' and 'first' in gender to the word that I HAD put. So, had I written "la prima lenzoulo" and thus TOTALLY mismatched genders, which is a HUGE no-no, I would have been MORE correct.

Did you catch that? Had I have been MORE wrong, I would have been MORE correct.
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anime is teh s uck

Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox

John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo · **John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo**

Sounds like the spanish tests at my school.
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