Transformers: Cybertron

counterparadox · **counterparadox**

Having loved Transformers since I was 5 (I watched G1 religously. And I mean RELIGIOUSLY. I was the only 5 year old around that could tell time. How did I learn? Well, I needed to be able to tell when Transformers was on so I didn't miss it. Tha't' right, my love of cartoons (Transformers especially) taught me to tell time. Also, Beast Wars is my #1 favorite cartoons series of all time. It probably only holds onto that spot right now due to nostalgia reasons, but even without those, it would be top 10, no question.), and knowing quite a bit about computer animation (having done a little bit a few years back, and recently did a smidge of image rendering in AutoCAD (I know, nothing TOO special, but still), and simply paying attention to behind the scenes stuff on all of Pixar's and Dreamwork's projects, among others), I feel I am qualified to preview Transformers: Cybertron, having only seen a commercial for it.

That was convoluted. So let me breifly recap why my upcoming opinion is most likely spot on. A) Beast Wars is my #1 favorite series. Transformers G1 taught me to tell time, I loved it so much. B) I know lots about computer animation. To the point that I can I) easily distinguish between standard CGI and Cel Shading, using nothing but my own eye and II) tell exactly what effects are done by computer in movies. Also using nothing but my naked eye. C) I have done some video work with very precise and quick edits, to the point that it has trained my eye to see things that most can't catch in one viewing of something.

D) I'm a pretentious prick that thinks he can judge an entire series from a 20 second commercial.

But, onto the meat and potatos of this post.

Transformers: Cybertron, will SUCK.

Every time a new Transformers series comes out, my hopes rise. Maybe, just maybe, this one will be like the ones that captured my love all those years ago.

And every single time, my hopes are dropped from a plane, burned, and then pissed on.

Granted, all of the various incarnations have dropped my hopes from a different height. So far, Robots in Disguise dropped them from outer space, whereas Armada merely dropped them from around 5,000 feet. But they both burned and pissed on them.

Now, you may be asking, "Oh dear Paradox, why is it that you already say that Cybertron will drop, burn, and piss on your hopes? It doesn't air until this Saturday."

And this is what I say to you.

From the commercial it is apparent that the show is, like the past incarnations, nothing but a toy commercial. Problem with this the First: The toys in recent years have become much simpler and cartoony-er than past incarnations. 3 steps and it's fully transformed, as opposed to the upwards of 20 step paths that needed to be taken in the past. This creates two issues. First, the toys aren't nearly as fun. Second, the cartoon isn't nearly as fun to watch because the transformation isn't as elaborate.

Problem the Second: No care is put into the SERIES aside from a marketing standpoint. The characters don't have to be fleshed out and have good plot lines or even dialouge. They have to be COLORFUL, different from a lot of other stuff on tv (the computer animation aspect does that) and shoot lasers. Kids love lasers.

Problem the Third: If this is anything like Armada, Robots in Disguise, or the rest, the bots won't take DAMAGE when they get hurt. They'll get shot and keel over, but there won't be a scratch on them. Beast Wars was AMAZING because our heroes and our enemies took damage. The best, most touching episode was the one in which Dinobot battled to his heroic death. This is something that is simply impossible nowadays. Most likely because they are trying to make the show too kid-friendly. Only boys under 10 will want the toys anyway, so why bother putting that much effort into the show in the first place? They won't know or care (this relates back to Problem the First and Problem the Second.)

Problem the Fourth: In the commercial, at the end, Optomus aims his gun at the camera, and shoots. Badass. If you look in the gun, however, one of 2 things happened. Can't tell which at this point, as either are likely. Either, A) There is no hole in the barrel of the gun, and there is merely an indent (Thus leading to the question of "Where does the laser beam come from?") or B) Whoever rendered the scene didn't have shadows turned on the way they were supposed to, and so the inside, back of the gun is lit. Thus, instead of an indent, there IS a hole. But the inside of the gun is not dark. Thus indicating a different defying of physics than reason A. That is, why don't the laws of Light apply within the barrel of his gun? (Problem the Fourth means that either the modeler didn't care enough to put a hole in the gun, the render didn't care enough to set shadows right, or the producer told both of them that they ahd to pump this sucker out and didn't ahve time/money to waste on little details.)

And so, it is for these reasons that I proclaim, on this day, Transformers: Cybertron will suck.

My hopes have a parachute on. And are hoping that they don't get dropped into the Sun this time and pissed on by the King of all Cosmos.

If I am wrong, I will shout it from the rooftops. And by rooftops, I mean I will appologize in length in this thread. And I really, really, REALLY hope that I have to shame myself.
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Fodder · **Fodder**

After watching the commercial. Well i have to agree. I have to agree more after looking at the credits to the show and seeing the kids from armada in it again. Im sorry but this isnt pokemon.

Now CP I also watched G1 at 4 O'Clock every afternoon and it was followed by GI Joe at 4:30. I remember all of them and had some of the toys. But not to many of them. Mostly for lack of funds. But I watched the shows and love them.

My favorite part of Transformers the Movie is the first half. Where when you get shot you get hurt or die. When they introduce the toys for G2. You notice that this all of a sudden is over. And who can forget Ironsides getting his head shot off in the movie. But i agree with you. Whats the point of having giant weapons that dont seem to do damage.

BTW i also noticed the bad animation on the gun. Which worried me as well. Oh yeah and the return of Jet Fire? Well this should be interesting. Knowing the the original Jetfire was a copied Veritech. And the character was supposedly buried in the original series. Well this should screw with continuity quite nicely.

Transformers G1 had 2 humans. And they werent shoved in your face. They were there to show you size differences and a gee whiz kind of factor. In all the new series since the end of Beast Wars its thrown in your face. Plus the warping thing... well all the crap gets old fast. But the PS2 game for it was a lot of fun.

I miss shows that sold toys but didnt do it so blatantly.

My hopes for the series are in the dumps. And were before i saw the commerical. I'll watch on saturday. But I dont think i'll like what i see.

Chibi_Zero · **Chibi_Zero**

I watched a few eps of it fansubbed and I couldn't take anymore.
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Vegito1471 · **Vegito1471**

I was to young to remember anything of transformers G1 and beast wars was really good, I remember liking both of them though. Armada was not that bad,I got into it towards the end. Energon completely sucked so much I only saw like 3 episodes then stopped watching.I was looking forward to cybertron but by what you guys have said I dont think its going to be a good show at all. The gun had no shadow in the barrel? What kind of people are making this. They suck. Its true, the toys suck now and I dont know why they focus on selling them if only 6 year olds are going to buy them. I remember having so much fun with the old,complicated toys from beast wars. I was like 8 years old. Well, I will also watch on saturday to see the great catastrophe that will air at 7.
_________________
Anime Conquers all.
1.Dragonball Z
2.Naruto
3.Yu Yu Hakusho

Aioros_Gold_knight · **Aioros_Gold_knight**

ya like vegito i was too young to really remember G1, but i watched beast wars almost religously, and rented the movie fairly often. The preview is not at all appealing to me. the recent incarnations are pure junk and im not even gonna watch one episode of this series.

counterparadox · **counterparadox**

To be fair, Fodder, Jetfire always shows up. He was in Beast Wars. The writers for that show added ot the timeline SO nicely in all that they did though. Humans werei n Beast Wars too. Only, they were ape-type things. Not in your face, but there.

Man Beast Wars was good . . . *SIGH*

By the way, can't believe you people are actually reading my entire post up there. I'm impressed. That's 982 words that I shat out in less than 20 minutes, and yet people are taking it seriously? Huh.
_________________
anime is teh s uck

Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox

Nobuyuki · **Nobuyuki**

Laughingman · **Laughingman**

I remember in Beast Wars that Megatron was probably one of the coolest villains ever, he was intelligent, he was deadly, he almost killed of Optimus. Now how the hell did they manage to turn him from that to a wussy chickenhawk, that could only yell at his underlings for 90% of the episode and then use 10% of the time on crappy battle sequences.

I swear I saw them use the same footage of Megatron throwing Optimus into a muontain, building, etc. atleast 5 times each episode. Armada truly ruined all of Megatron's potential. Evil or Very Mad

Please excuse all excessive gramatical errors.

Aioros_Gold_knight · **Aioros_Gold_knight**

Dinobot was my favorite from beast wars. the decepticons were way cooler in that series. I mean besides optimus, i didnt really like a lot of autobots

counterparadox · **counterparadox**

Oh come now. The noble Silverbolt? The sassy teenage Cheetor? The sarcastic sonovabitch "We're ALL, gonna die." Rattrap? They were gold, man. GOLD.

The Decepticons were also gold though. The mindless UBER powerful Rampage. The double crossing Black Aracnia. The ever-dying Waspinator. (Greatest Rattrap quote ever: "Aww, and my collection of Waspinator parts was almost complete!")

Damn how I wish shows like that were still being made. Granted, there is stuff like Justice League and a slew of others. But nothing involving robots. And top-of-the-line CGI (I still have yet to see a more realistic animation of running on TV. Movies? Pish, Incredibles blows it out of the water. But as far as TV goes, Beast Wars' running animation reigns supreme.)
_________________
anime is teh s uck

Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox

Vegito1471 · **Vegito1471**

Just wait til Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children comes out.
_________________
Anime Conquers all.
1.Dragonball Z
2.Naruto
3.Yu Yu Hakusho

Laughingman · **Laughingman**

Vegito1471 · **Vegito1471**

I wish they remade the game for the next generation of games.
_________________
Anime Conquers all.
1.Dragonball Z
2.Naruto
3.Yu Yu Hakusho

Laughingman · **Laughingman**

They did have a demo for the PS3.

Vegito1471 · **Vegito1471**

but they said that they dont plan on making it.
_________________
Anime Conquers all.
1.Dragonball Z
2.Naruto
3.Yu Yu Hakusho


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