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Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Griping about relationships thread
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Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I'm realy stuck here. Course, I wish JP was here to answer. He's good with this stuff.
For the past few years, I've lived there as well. Funny thing is, I've become seemingly Tenchi in the last few months. Before school let out, any good friend of mine who was female, was making eyes at me. Every time I go to the arcade, I get at least a couple glances, often a pass. A girl who wouldn't give me the time of day just four months ago can't stop talking to me (although I can't tell if that's an attraction thing). I like to chalk it up to my DDR skills, but I know that's not the case. Possibly the smell of sweat from DDRing? It's a mystery to me.
Anyway, as far as advice for chicks: get outside. Go to places where like-minded people hang out. Anime clubs, arcades, even the mall works sometimes. AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR A PHONE NUMBER. Having casually flirted with a girl doesn't lead to a date if you don't ask, does it? If they don't give you their number, you wouldn't have gotten anywhere likely, anyway, so the exercise was inefficient on the first place. Meaning, if you'll never see them again otherwise, give it a shot. _________________ This space left intentionally blank.
Tue Jul 08, 2003 7:45 pm
counterparadox
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
Wow, freaky semi deja vu for reasons I'm not going to go into . . .
But yeah, whatever it is I'm doing now doens't seem to be working, so I guess I should try something different. Although, I started growing my hair out, and I seem to be getting much more attention from girls. I think it's funny, yet also cool. _________________ anime is teh s uck
Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox
Wed Jul 09, 2003 11:19 am
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
Okay, okay, CP, you asked for it, and JP is here to give you some advice. Are you ready?
Start dating more!
That's it! And believe me, it isn't as hard as you make it out to be. I felt the exact same way as you did, but there's one thing you have to realize about dating. A date does not automatically equal relationship. Dating around allows you to establish a sort of barometer for the type of people you want to be around. And a date doesn't have to be anything special either. Forget all of the bullcrap about expensive dinners and dancing. Invite her out for a slice of pizza. Go hit the arcade together, or cruise the mall for a day. All you really need to do is to present the opportunity to hang out together and learn more about each other. A date or two does not automatically mean that you two are an item, but that you're sort of figuring out for eachother who you are.
So just talk to girls some more. If you start off in the mindset of being "just friends" at first, it should be easier for you to be able to start a friendly relationship with her. The problem you're having is the exact same problem I have, and that is that you get tongue-tied because you're nervous around a girl, because you're trying too hard to impress her, which will only result in possibly embarassing yourself. Don't try to impress, just try to let her know who you are, and be straight-forward right away. Don't agonize over it, and don't think that you're going to be hurting anyone's feelings by going out to a movie and a burger a couple of times without reciprocating some sort of romantic inclinations. You're still pretty young, so at this point you probably won't be "getting lucky" on first or second dates anyway. Just forget all the crap, and the pressure should go away. Besides, having multiple, attractive female friends can be more enjoyable than having a steady girlfriend sometimes.
Don't be in such a hurry to get into a relationship, because I was in a hurry too at your age. I felt like I was a freak because I didn't have a girlfriend. Eventually, I did end up getting a girlfriend when I was like 16, and although I enjoyed the relationship, it was a pretty weird dating experience. We were both nervous and scared as hell, it took us about a month and a half before I even got up the nerve to kiss her. Eventually, the relationship fizzled because I realized that I wasn't so much in love with the girl as I was in love with the whole idea of having a girlfriend. Unfortunately, I had only realized this well after we had been dating for about two years. I realized it was all a sham, that I had put up this facade of a normal highschool romance, but in reality I hadn't invested enough time to create a real relationship with her. We went to movies every now and then, went to school dances, but I didn't really know who she was. I realized that all I cared about was that I had a girlfriend, not who she was. I felt horrible when I came to that conclusion, and I had to end our relationship pretty painfully. We remained friendly afterwards, though I know I hurt her pretty bad because of my rash actions, and since going our seperate ways we've drifted apart. I was foolish, too afraid of being alone to realize that my actions were a lie and that I would ultimately hurt someone I cared for.
So, CP, the only thing I can tell you is this: Be true to yourself, and invest as much time as you can into learning about the girls you date. Date often, but don't ever, ever believe that any friendly dating experience is you last chance at romantic happiness. Just have fun. Be true.
...and avoid the clap... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Tue Jul 15, 2003 5:27 pm
counterparadox
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
I knew you'd say something good. _________________ anime is teh s uck
Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox
Tue Jul 15, 2003 7:34 pm
John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo
Joined: Nov 13, 2002
Post subject:
The crazy Injun returnes with a patented, overly drawn out post. _________________ This space left intentionally blank.
Tue Jul 15, 2003 8:00 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
don't be hatin', "honky"... my mad typin' skillz just needs more room than any otha nigga in the whole joint, cuz what I'm flowin' is just that deep... ya feel me?...
fo' shizzle... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Thu Jul 17, 2003 4:43 am
John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo
Joined: Nov 13, 2002
Post subject:
Um... I wasn't tryin' ta fade you or anything, that was some others guys. I don't know who they were. _________________ This space left intentionally blank.
Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:01 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
shee-it, white-bread... ain't no thang but a chicken wing... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Thu Jul 17, 2003 7:35 pm
JKyle
Joined: Jan 21, 2003
Post subject:
John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo wrote:
I've become seemingly Tenchi in the last few months.
J-P, look back a few pages. What can you do? _________________ I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new
Wilco- Ashes of American Flags
Sun Jul 20, 2003 4:07 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
what's "a few pages"? Because I'll tell you right now, I'm too lazy to go back and read all of the pages on this thread, so unless you let me know which specific posts I'm supposed to look at, I probably won't go read them. Sorry, but that's just how I am... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Tue Jul 22, 2003 1:38 am
counterparadox
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
It's only either 1 or 2 pages back. Most likely 1.
By the way, I have a crush! It feels good! Except I know for a fact that she likes this other guy (and it's possible that her best friend could like ME, which would just make the whole situation SUPER ugly), but on the plus side, the guy is kinda like me, and I have no clue where he stands on the matter of HER. It should be a battle for her attention. Which, really, is the way it should be. I'm actually enjoying being worried about not getting her in the end. How weird is that? I'm enjoying being worried. I haven't felt this way aobut anyone in so long, I'm liking even the sucky parts of it. _________________ anime is teh s uck
Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox
Tue Jul 22, 2003 9:21 am
Green-Bird
Joined: Apr 14, 2003
Post subject:
I quote Link from the Matrix Reloded.
Link: Look, no one's ever do-OH, SHIT! Look out behind you!
That's for C-P.
Now, J-P, I will re-post it.
Quote:
My girlfriend is a person who I love, but in exchange for that love, she gives me hatred. She acts snooty in my neighborhood, She is mean to EVERYONE in my youth group, and calls me at 3 in the morning just because she "wanted to talk". And yet, even though I know I should dump her, I keep clinging on and hoping, she'll go back to the way she was. You see, she used to be a nice person to everyone, and love me with a deep passion, but she changed.
However, Another girl just came into my life. She moved into my neighborhood, and plans to go to the same collage as me. She is everything I saw in the first girl plus more. What should I do?
Any advice?
That applies to you, JP. Read it. What can I do? _________________ I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new
Wilco- Ashes of American Flags
Tue Jul 22, 2003 9:50 am
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
Okay, I think I actually do remember reading that one... anyway, here's what I can say about that...
If your current girlfriend is giving you such grief, you shouldn't keep it to yourself. You should never feel that you have to keep quiet about these sort of things in a relationship. I do know for a fact that girlfriends can sometimes be real pains in the ass, but things will only get worse if you allow them to. If you know in your head that things just aren't working out, then you'll have to suffer through the heartache and end the relationship.
However, do not end things with your girlfriend in hopes of starting something with someone else. I think someone else said this before, but I just want to say it again, because I also know from experience that this is a bad idea and it usually never works out the way you want it to. Unless you know for a fact that this girl will be willing to go out on dates with you and start up a relationship right after you end things with your last girlfriend (which is doubtful unless you've already been trying to start up a relationship with her at this point, which is a horrible, horrible thing to do to your current girlfriend, no matter how horrible she's been to you), you'll probably be disappointed. Unless you're completely set out to hurt your current girlfriend's feelings as much as possible and possibly hurting this new girl's feelings as well for being involved in a "sorid love triangle", I'd avoid this route all together.
To sum it all up, I'd say that if you ends things with your current girlfriend, don't be in too much of a hurry to start up a new relationship. Take some time for yourself and try to figure out what it is you really want in a relationship. _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Sun Jul 27, 2003 8:25 pm
Goldfinger2K
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
I say start a friendly relationship with the neighborhood girl. Maybe even hang out with her on occasion. If your current girlfriend decides to be bitchy about you having a "lady-friend" then you shouild think things over about your current g/f. Cause you gotta be able to have to have an independent life away from her. your own friends whether it be female or male. And of course this goes for both sides. I don't know your full situation but, i like the sound of the neighborhood girl. And of course as posted before, share your feelings and maybe your GF will revert back. Who knows. But she might not notice her snooty-ness on her own.
peace _________________ "one time yug!-Steve O Fuss
Y.U.G.
"If I threw a stick would you go away?"-a shirt
"Toonami, better than getting kicked in the nuts!"-me
"If I was so inclined, I would have groped you five times!"^O^hohohohoho!-Vash
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