Martin's Bar

JohnnyPsycho · **JohnnyPsycho**

I hate you, Nobu...

by the way, where's your application?

*laser cannon warms up*
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright

Nobuyuki · **Nobuyuki**

Fine, fine...although I don't think I'm suited for it:

Name: Nobuyuki

Age: older than you

D.O.B.: in the year 2525...B.C.

Blood Type: (choose one) They all taste the same...

Ethnicity: Water Child

Species: Human

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Mother's Maiden Name: Masaki

Father's Maiden Name: Masaki

Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Masaki

Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Masaki

Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name: Masaki

Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: Masaki

It's a long story...

Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: unknown, but I could guess...

Your Maiden Name (if applicable): N/A

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Known Inheritable Family Health Risks: Unknown

Known Inheritable Family Superpowers (ie: inherited superhuman mutations (X-gene syndrome), Lycanthropy):

Longevity

Other Known Inheritable Traits:

talking with trees

Non-Inherited Superpowers:

resistance to physical injury

Do you have experience using or can you operate or perform the following tasks? (answer Yes or No)

Cash register: yes

Computer: yes

Bartending: no

Waiting/Customer Service: no

Cooking: you wouldn't like it

DJ equipment/PA or Sound Equipment: no

(Can you also supply your own DJ equipment?): N/A

Nano-robot based repair systems: no

Interdimensional portals/Stargates/Wormhole generators/Time machines: not personally, no

Abacus: who do you think invented it?

Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): no

Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): no

Other useful skills: access to nearly-unlimited financial resources

Other useless skills: encyclopedic knowledge of "Jeopardy!"-level trivia

Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): covert audio/visual recording (for documentary purposes only, of course)

Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview):
XXXL

Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview): same, already have moustache

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Phone number (real or imagined): 555-555-5555

"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name: father-in-law

Phone number: 555-555-1212

Next of Kin: son

Previous Employment
Name of Company: Masaki Construction

Position: chief architect

Length of Employment: lifetime

Reason for leaving: still working

Ever Convicted of a Felony?: nope

Name of Parole Officer: M. Kuramitsu

Victim's Next of Kin: Mrs. Lawrence Erhardt of Reno, NV

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_________________
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
Wink

"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP

FinalDivineDragoon · **FinalDivineDragoon**

Name:

Age: Early 20's(approx. in years, centuries or eons as applicable)

D.O.B.: Sometime 20+ years ago

Blood Type: (choose one) [A] [B ] [AB] [O] [Blue] [Acidic] [N/A] Mix of O, Blue, and Acidic(explained further down)

Ethnicity: (choose all that apply) [White/Caucasian] [Other]

Species: Human and Dragon(explained further down)

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Family was killed shortly after birth.....all of them

Mother's Maiden Name:

Father's Maiden Name:

Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name:

Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name:

Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name:

Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name:

Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: Some guy named Neo

Your Maiden Name (if applicable):Anchors

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Known Inheritable Family Health Risks (ie: Heart Disease, Sicle-cell Anemia, Diabetes, Polydactyly, Near-sightedness, certain allergies, Lycanthropy): Possesion by Two-Headed Dragon

Known Inheritable Family Superpowers (ie: inherited superhuman mutations (X-gene syndrome), Lycanthropy): Possesion by Two- Headed Dragon

Other Known Inheritable Traits:

The powers my Dragon gives me

Non-Inherited Superpowers:

Can Transform into 1 of 8 Dragoon Armors

Do you have experience using or can you operate or perform the following tasks? (answer Yes or No)

Cash register: Yes

Computer: Yes

Bartending: Yes

Waiting/Customer Service: Yes

Cooking: Yes

DJ equipment/PA or Sound Equipment: Yes

(Can you also supply your own DJ equipment?): No

Nano-robot based repair systems: Yes

Interdimensional portals/Stargates/Wormhole generators/Time machines: All these options and you don't mention an Interdimensional Box....im ashamed of this application

Abacus: 15 different kinds

Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): Gun-Fu, Dragon-Fu, Dragoon-fu

Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Dragon(only while possesed)

Other useful skills: Mastery of Twin Swords, and Staves of all kinds

Other useless skills: Is prone to having extreme streaks of the worst luck in the universe

Talents (for the talent portion of the interview):

Can use my Dragon to give a new meaning to the term "Freezer Burn"

Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): Can you tailor make a suit the will allow for the Dragon heads to come out of my back?

Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview):
I'll bring my own swim trunks

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Phone number (real or imagined): Dragon has psychic powers so no phone needed

"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name: Zechs

Phone number: Something

Next of Kin: it's Zechs for crying out loud

Previous Employment
Name of Company:

Position: Mercenery

Length of Employment: For as long as I can remember

Reason for leaving: Getting this job

Ever Convicted of a Felony?: Talk to my Dragon about that

Name of Parole Officer: None

Victim's Next of Kin: Too many to count(Dragons talking)

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Thank you for filling out this application for Cloning!
_________________
There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.

dougisfunny · **dougisfunny**

Name:Doug I. Funny

Age: 21

D.O.B.: 5/7/83

Blood Type: NO2

Ethnicity: White/Caucasian/Funnite

Species: Nerd/Tiger

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Mother's Maiden Name: Grumpy

Father's Maiden Name: Funk

Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: ii

Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: oo

Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name: dd

Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: ee

Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: Gezronaplatz

Your Maiden Name[/b] (if applicable): Notwhipped

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Known Inheritable Family Health Risks[/b] Diabetes

Known Inheritable Family Superpowers Intelligence

Other Known Inheritable Traits: laziness, mage power

Non-Inherited Superpowers: l33t coding sk1llz at 3 am, DD forever

Do you have experience using or can you operate or perform the following tasks? (answer Yes or No)

[b]Cash register: YEs

Computer: yes

Bartending: sorta

Waiting/Customer Service: yes

Cooking: yes

DJ equipment/PA or Sound Equipment: yes

(Can you also supply your own DJ equipment?): no

Nano-robot based repair systems: no

Interdimensional portals/Stargates/Wormhole generators/Time machines: yes

Abacus: yes

Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): I have bad breath after eating garlic, confuse people out of their anger

Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): ziemlich gut deutsch, java, c++, php, gforth, basic, etc.

Other useful skills: I'm a nerd, l33t mage more powerful than anything you got.

Other useless skills: I've been suggested to be the lifeline to call on who wants to be a millionaire, strong silent type

Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): good at coding, athletic(XC, swimming, football, baseball, wrestling, track), play the cymbals and timpani well, good at annoying girls.

Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): larger than neccesary

Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview): larger than necesary

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Phone number (real or imagined): 5551212

"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name:

Phone number: 5551213

Next of Kin: Angela

Previous Employment
Name of Company: DialAmerica Marketing

Position: Caller of people at 9 am, sales verifier

Length of Employment: 1.5 yrs

Reason for leaving: haven't left yet

Ever Convicted of a Felony?: like I'd get caught

Name of Parole Officer: n/a

Victim's Next of Kin: they're all dead

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_________________
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

JohnnyPsycho · **JohnnyPsycho**

FinalDivineDragoon · **FinalDivineDragoon**

No JP, to know what Interdimensional Box i'm talking about, you need to have played the SNES RPG Terranigma. In said game the main character keeps all of his items, weapons, magic gems, and armor inside a box that he can hop into and perouse at any time.

....Besides, why would I want a whole 'nother universe in a little box?
_________________
There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.

JohnnyPsycho · **JohnnyPsycho**

Oh, I see, like a pocket dimension or the ever present "Bag of Holding"...

...there isn't much skill in using those things, except you have to not get lost in your own box (somehow that kind of sounded perverted)...

Wouldn't it be fun if Interdimensional Boxes or Pocket Dimensions didn't work every now and then, like every so often they would malfunction and instead of sticking your hand into a stockpile of weapons, amors, and treasures, you end up sticking your hand into the pits of a Hellmouth or something, so instead of pulling out that elixir or sacred jewel you were reaching for, you pull out a scorched and bleeding stump...

...well, it sounded funny to me...
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright

dougisfunny · **dougisfunny**

has anyone here ever read Scud, Disposable Assasin?
A character in the comic, is a walking pocket dimension... i should scan some of it...
_________________
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

FinalDivineDragoon · **FinalDivineDragoon**

Didn't they make a crappy game out of that character?
_________________
There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.

dougisfunny · **dougisfunny**

for scud?

yes on saturn

for drywall?

no
_________________
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

FinalDivineDragoon · **FinalDivineDragoon**

Hmm, I still have my Saturn.....*goes to ebay*
_________________
There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.

dougisfunny · **dougisfunny**

it was a pretty crappy game if i remember correctly... I dunno if I'd buy it were I you...
_________________
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

AdmiralGreer · **AdmiralGreer**

This is probably a mistake... But...

***************
Name: Admiral "Blue Impulse" Greer

Age: Unknown (Ninjas have no age)

D.O.B.: (Trying to figure it out)

Blood Type: AB+

Ethnicity: Asian- Japanese

Species: Human (unconfirmed)

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Mother's Maiden Name: Unknown

Father's Maiden Name: Unknown

Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Unknown

Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Unknown

Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name: Unknown

Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: Unknown

Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: Barrett

Your Maiden Name (if applicable): TBD

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Known Inheritable Family Health Risks: L337-ness, lack of un-L337-ness

Known Inheritable Family Superpowers: Ninja skills

Other Known Inheritable Traits: None

Non-Inherited Superpowers: Ability to summon THE Gundam at will

Do you have experience using or can you operate or perform the following tasks? (answer Yes or No)

Cash register: Yes

Computer: Yes

Bartending: Yes

Waiting/Customer Service: Yes

Cooking: Yes

DJ equipment/PA or Sound Equipment: Yes

(Can you also supply your own DJ equipment?): Yes

Nano-robot based repair systems: Yes

Interdimensional portals/Stargates/Wormhole generators/Time machines: Yes

Abacus: No

Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): Ninjitsu, Kendo, L337 sk1llz (trying to lose those)

Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Casenese (mixture of Japanese and stupid), Swahili, Blog-ese

Other useful skills: List available from US Government under the *CLASSIFIED* Act of 19XX

Other useless skills: Mr. Green

Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): Ninja skills

Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): Standard Ninja

Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview): Can figure out how to take them

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Phone number (real or imagined): 1-800-325-BEER

"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name: Jenny

Phone number: 867-5309

Next of Kin: None

Previous Employment
Name of Company: Diamond Head Inc.

Position: Owner/El Presidente/President/CEO/Foreign Minister

Length of Employment: 18 years

Reason for leaving: N/A

Ever Convicted of a Felony?: No

Name of Parole Officer: If needed, Colonel Sanders

Victim's Next of Kin: N/A

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_________________
Ice cream has this erotic sense to it- kinda like the one choclate and strawberries have.
-Me

stFalcon · **stFalcon**

I'm sure glad I had this application done before I got here!

Name:

Age:

Qualifying attributes:

Signature:

Sorry, I had to write in a pen with no ink. But damn it, babies' blood is the best ink money can buy, and its gotta be fresh.

On an unrelated note, any of you got a first-born coming up anytime soon? Cool

So, do I get the menial labor job?

JohnnyPsycho · **JohnnyPsycho**

HOLY CRAP!! When the hell did stFalcon come back... and why is he a newbie?...

...anyway, i think the Admiral here probably has just the right genetic coding for a new force of shinobi-bouncers, but only time will tell...
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright


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