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Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Griping about relationships thread
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Impossibles Max Fleisher's Superman (a.k.a. Roulette) The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest Robotech Sailor Moon DragonBall Z Filmation Superman Batman Superfriends
ReBoot
Ronin Warriors G-Force Powerpuff Girls Batman: The Animated Series Gundam Wing Tenchi Muyo! Universe in Tokyo Superman Outlaw Star Big O CardCaptors Mobile Suit Gundam
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Armada
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circle
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*Summoning, Summoning, Summoning...*
Let's see if this works. _________________ This space left intentionally blank.
Wed Jul 02, 2003 11:48 am
Green-Bird
Joined: Apr 14, 2003
Post subject:
I understand. Thanks for the advice senor. I will try that option and a few other soon. _________________ I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new
Wilco- Ashes of American Flags
Wed Jul 02, 2003 3:21 pm
counterparadox
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
Yeah GB, communication truly is key. If you can't talk about your problems, then you're not really close at all. And if that's the case, either you can keep trying, or just give up and end the relationship.
Now for me. Maybe a few of you will have some insight.
In the past, 3 things have held me back from ever getting a girlfriend. First, looks wise, I used to be pudgy. Second, I'm a dumbass when it most counts NOT to be a dumbass. Like, a real dumbass. But I've seen uglier, DUMBER, and JACKASS people (I pride myself in my lack of jackass-ness) get girls, so I chalk a lot of it up to the Third thing: Bad luck.
Course, this all added up to a lack of confidence thus thoroughly screwing me over (figuratively, of course.)
Anyways, I'm finally getting over all of this, except for the whole 'luck' thing. See, I'm finally confident that I COULD get someone. Problem is, I have no one to shoot for. Let's go through the top selections, shall we?
The 2 girls that I get along with best/have a lot in common with (aside from anything animation related) are each really close friends who have boyfriends that are also friends of mine, and said girls wouldn't consider going out with me.
Then there are 4 other girls. Each have their virtues, Yet EACH have their disadvantages. I won't waste time going through them right now.
My head says "You're lonely damnit! Go for that one! (Indicating one of the 4 that I mentione above)" However, my heart, while MOST inclined to the one my brain says to shoot for, says "Meh, to tell you the truth, I'm indifferent." And my gut instinct, which I've learned is ALWAYS right, is all "Don't bug me, I'm on vacation." Well, not really. But it's sending me some REALLY confusing signals.
In short, I think that I'm REALLY desperate, and as such, my gut won't let me do anything rash and spontaneous (because it knows I'll regret it somehow). Yet, I really want someone. I'm sick of being alone. And I know I could get someone now. Yet I don't have anyone to SHOOT for, which is even more depressing than shooting and never achieving (since there isn't even a ray of hope.)
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I'm realy stuck here. Course, I wish JP was here to answer. He's good with this stuff. _________________ anime is teh s uck
Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox
Wed Jul 02, 2003 8:44 pm
dougisfunny
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Post subject:
hmmm.... what to gripe about. It's that time of the months... yeah thats about it _________________ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Thu Jul 03, 2003 12:30 am
Ludwika
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
God, I don't have anything to gripe about since I been relationshipless the past months... and its sadder when the last thing I had to flirt with me was another woman at work.I don't know maybe I should go out and try a different horizan or something ...god now I'm súper confuse. _________________ Tan simple y tan sencillo como eso, el mundo apesta! -inguesu
Thu Jul 03, 2003 1:32 am
SabraDova
Joined: Nov 23, 2002
Post subject:
John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo wrote:
*Summoning, Summoning, Summoning...*
Let's see if this works.
Alrighty, by the grace of an e-mail telling me to dish out advice to Green-Bird, I'm here. But what exactly are you summoning me for? And what kind of advice do you want me to dish out? I think TWWK's advice is worthy of Dear Abby- it's well-grounded stuff, especially given the premise (or the assumption) that Green-Bird wants to stay in the "going steady/significant other/dating world". What do you need me for? And if there's something to be said, why don't you just say it yourself?
Thu Jul 03, 2003 4:43 am
counterparadox
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
I like how people ignored my post, that I do. _________________ anime is teh s uck
Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox
Thu Jul 03, 2003 8:54 am
Green-Bird
Joined: Apr 14, 2003
Post subject:
Man, I read your post. Have any one of them made a pass at you? That may make it easier.
And wika, that's just strange and sad. _________________ I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new
Wilco- Ashes of American Flags
Thu Jul 03, 2003 10:03 am
TheWorldWeKnow
Joined: Nov 08, 2002
Post subject:
counterparadox wrote:
I like how people ignored my post, that I do.
hey, I just saw your post for the first time...and as I mentioned earlier, I excel at giving out advice (whether it's good or not...eh, I've had mixed results )
okay, as for the things holding you back...1) I had a friend who was really really pudgy growing up...as soon as he lost weight ALL the girls were all over him (including a girl I had a massive crush on -_-'); I'm guessing this isn't an issue anymore with you, but if it is, don't worry about it; 2) so stop being a dumba**! I've never seen you be one on this board; 3) ugh, I'm gonna be harsh, but don't chalk anything up to bad luck - if you look at it that way, EVERYONE always has bad luck with relationships; in high school, and even in my first year or so in college, it seemed that 9 out of 10 girls I had any feelings towards were going out with other people...and that I just always had the worst of luck with girls; just gotta stop thinking like that - that doesn't help your confidence at all (like you mentioned)
as for those girls, I say get to know them better - if not ALL of them, the ones that you think you'd most like to date, see if it's really worth it to date any of them; I mean, the way you explain your feelings toward these girls, it just seems like it would be a big hassle
now, I definitely know the lonely feeling...it seems to grip all non-attached guys b/w 15 and 25; frankly, I got over it this way...well, first of all, I got a g/f, hehe...but after that fizzled out, I just looked at myself and asked whether I really needed to have a g/f in my life - and despite feeling lonely, the answer was "no, not until the right one comes along" - and you know what? when I stopped thinking about GETTING a g/f, I wasn't lonely at all anymore
basically, I think you're kind of at a crossroads, and neither choice is right or wrong - 1) you can date one (or more ) of the girls and just start dating - for fun, to get rid of loneliness, and to find the right one, even if the girls that are available to you don't really seem to be ones you're especially attracted to, or 2) you can pull a TWWK, and just keep a lookout for the women that you REALLY want to have a relationship with - but if you choose this choice, you need to shed the "I NEED a woman" feeling; I advise you do whichever feels best to you
also, I can't believe those 4 girls are the only options, especially if you're lukewarm about them...you can go out ANYWHERE and find a girl you're lukewarm about - and if you go out, you're bound to find some girl that you'll like more than any of those four
Thu Jul 03, 2003 12:29 pm
counterparadox
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
GB: Nope. No one has liked me (that I've known about) for at least 5 years.
TWWK: As for the luck thing, that's the only damn way that I can explain it. No girl has liked me for 5 years, and I've seen guys MUCH worse off than me in in every way have at least one girl crawling all over them. There's nothing else that I can pin it on other than luck, which I equate to random chance. It's just random, and I got the short end of the stick. But that's never been a factor in my level of confidence.
Are these 4 girls my only options? No, they aren't. But amoung the other choices is a girl (with the most kickass set of eyes EVER) who a) has a differeing set or morals and b) has a boyfriend (who ironically has the same first name as me . . . ). Then there's another girl who I think I would get along GREAT with, but a) she's completely infatuated with this other guy (no better than me in any way, however, also no WORSE, so I don't incredibly mind) and b) she acts like we're friends but doesn't seem to ever want to talk to me.
Other than that, there aren't any real choices within my school. There just . . . aren't. And I'm not the best at striking up random conversations with people elsewhere. In fact I suck at it. I'm not hte type to meet a girl in the mall or something. Just wouldn't happen. Not as I am now. Hence my dilemma.
As for me being a dumbass, I'm usually not. I just am at the most inoppertune times. When it most counts that I not be stupid, that's when I'm stupid. I don't pretend to understand it; that's just how I am.
And now onto the most significant part. You said what my best friend said regarding the Lukewarm 4: spend time with each of them. The only thing holding me back is this:
What if I start something that I don't want to finish? I don't want to lead anyone on in any way. I'm not that type of guy. So what happens if that plan completely backfires in my face? _________________ anime is teh s uck
Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox
Thu Jul 03, 2003 5:50 pm
Green-Bird
Joined: Apr 14, 2003
Post subject:
Damn it. Then look out.
And on the three post: DDDDAAAMMMNNN!!! _________________ I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new
Wilco- Ashes of American Flags
Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:56 pm
DeeLite
Joined: Nov 08, 2002
Post subject:
Whoa, kinda of a triple post type of effect to go for ...
anyway I couldn't help not commenting on your girl problem Counter, because you absolutely just reminded me of my brother who has the same troubles with girls/women in general.Except he's a little older ...okay to be blunt he's a lot older as in his mid 30s.But you and he sorta coincide I think,of how women don't give him the time of day, for many more reasons then I can remember, and he usually says the same of how some guys that aren't good looking get all the girls and he can't. Don't get me wrong he's a very nice person, only just a little chubby and as I put it sometimes a "pendejito" or I guess dumb when it comes to sparking up a proper conversation with the ladies...okay any conversation!
But of course now he's on a turning point of his life and now has a fixated idea there is no woman out there for him and his going to be single forever.Which he's sorely not counting a nice girl that did want to marry him.
Anyway,aside from having a slight deja-va here, I might not be of help to you with this but in my opinion every one finds someone to be with at one point or another.And I understand your sorta impatient for not being in a relationship or something, but it is all a matter of patience sometimes...its life's little perks of either the girls come to you or you go to them.
And Ludwika, funny I thought you were dating someone ... but give me details about this!?
Fri Jul 04, 2003 12:41 am
TheWorldWeKnow
Joined: Nov 08, 2002
Post subject:
counterparadox wrote:
What if I start something that I don't want to finish? I don't want to lead anyone on in any way. I'm not that type of guy. So what happens if that plan completely backfires in my face?
This is what I figure...if you find that you don't like the girl, then just be friends with her. If you decide you don't want to date her, just make it clear that you just want to be friends, that way she won't feel like she's being lead on. Friends should not be a second priority - either way, you will have gained something (unless you don't wanna be friends with her at all). Honestly, I don't think that it's too much of a problem - I think you're just overanalyzing things
The big trick is to get to know her w/o becoming too close as friends too quickly...once you're in that friend mode, it's practically IMPOSSIBLE to get out of it
Fri Jul 04, 2003 5:08 am
counterparadox
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
Regarding the triple post: Damnit people, give me a break, my computer was being Dumb and I couldn't even get back on this site, let alone delete them, till this morning.
Regarding my Impatience: I'm 17, never had a girlfriend, wanted one since 7th grade, and no girl has liked me in that entire time period. So yes, I am impatient. VERY impatient. Why? Because I've used up all my patience. Hence my griping here.
Regarding the god-awful-friends-state: Damn I know about that one. I can make friends with girls no problem. 3 of my 4 best friends in the world are girls. They just don't want to be anything more than friends.
And yes, TWWK, I over-analyze the CRAP about every single thing in my life. I think TOO much. I'm a thinker. But what bothers me is that only my brain has chimed in on this one. Like I said, Heart and Gut are staying out of it. And I don't think logic is a way to find love in any sense, _________________ anime is teh s uck
Play City of Heroes/Villians? Look me up, Pinnacle server, @C Paradox
Fri Jul 04, 2003 8:51 am
Ludwika
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
Gawd,well Dee minus the fellow with the piercing whose a sorta interested in me,no I ain't dating anyone ...tis sad! And about the lady at work,the only things she's done is wink at me and making an outlandish piropo about my eyes. But I'm hardly going to flirt back, just cause the woman grosses me out with the P.E teacher look.
CP,your hormonally deranged right now which makes you want a girl now and it has too be now and not laters in your meager 17 year old head of yours, and that's all I'm saying ...
Anyway,now I got more to gripe about aside from those meager things as in my family and how they constantly depute with me on how I shouldn't be single any more and should consider being in a serious relationship with someone ...oh the ideology of my very practical family.
Now, I really don't care to be in any serious relationship,due to the fact I feel I'm way to young and I like having a carefree and main thing liberated lifestyle to be couped up with a husband, with a dozen kids, over weight, living off welfare, and no goal in life like most of these people telling me you need a man and to get married .No thanks!
... its terribly un nerving when my Aunt also says " hija don't you settle for nothing,just get a man with money." I'm also not a gold digger to be having those types of ideals in my head,I am overly picky when it comes to being in a relationship with a guy... but come on you could be the poorest of poors and if I liked you,there would be no ifs or buts about that as long as we coincide in things.
Aside from that, there is another thing that is really getting under my skin who happens to be the mega dictator on whose the perfect guy I should be dating, which is my mother. Oh,yes this is a woman who once thought this cable guy was a suitable guy for her daughter so what she did is made a pass at him and absolutely embarrassed her daughter.
Thing is she's a boyfriend slaughter, every time when it comes to the types of guy I date ,which is absolutely frustrating and its at the ludicrous point at which I will not go and present any of my male friends to her... and this is so something much more major to gripe about then high school dating!
_________________ Tan simple y tan sencillo como eso, el mundo apesta! -inguesu
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