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  Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Griping about relationships thread
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Griping about relationships thread
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Ludwika

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject: Griping about relationships thread
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As my mama expressed relationships to me awhile back she compared relationships to the wheels on a car. Say you get a flat tire and the most logical thing to do is change it to a new tire ... so hija she tells me get a new tire. Confused

So how about sharing some of your vague memories of the ungratifying or gratifying people you've once dated in the past? Or the ones your still trying to woo 'til now?
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PostSat Mar 15, 2003 2:07 am
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Cooolcorey

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Joined: Nov 08, 2002
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I have no relationship to gripe about Smile .
PostSat Mar 15, 2003 3:16 pm
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FinalDivineDragoon

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Well it's my turn, and I do. Yes I am deeply infatuated with a girl at school, problem is she wants nothing even resembling a romantic relationship. Me and her are about the biggest nerds on the campus and it shows. We're socially inept and only talk about star wars, anime and video games, about 95% of the time. I did say she was a nerd, but I didn't say she was unattractive...well at least to me that is. She's not an anorexic supermodel, or a chub factory, she just right in the middle. Plus that 3 1/2 feet of golden brown hair makes her even better. I've talked to her about my feelings for her, and she understands perfectly, but she says it's not the time. Maybe due to my slight immaturity level, or due to her hellish raising as a child, something is making her uncomfortable about starting a relationship. The best answer I got out of her was...

"This town is a place only to suffer. You need to experience life first. Go out to college and try to meet women there, and if you're still in love with me in 15 years, come find me and maybe we can start a relationship."

So any advice for me, or have I just answered myself in one long rant?
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PostSat Mar 15, 2003 4:08 pm
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counterparadox

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Eek. Poor FDD. That's farther than I've ever gotten though. Everytime a girl thinks I like her, she seems to run away faster than a cheeta. I'm great as a 'friend' because i'm a 'nice guy'. Annoying as hell. Cuz everytime I manage to not trip over my tongue, the girl likes someone else just long enough for me to get stuck in the godawful 'friend state.'

I need a date to prom and I look around and what do I see? I see very few options. And like I said in Martin's Bar, there's a cute girl but now that I started thinking that maybe I could ask her, BAM my mind freezes up and I can't even talk to her. Cuz I'm a tool like that. Blargh.
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PostSat Mar 15, 2003 4:28 pm
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Beatdiggga

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I'm the knight. I try to be the nice guy, the romantic dude, and yet practical. Does it work? Sometimes, yes. I had a relationship before I moved to my new house (I will never forget the last kiss her and I shared, something out of a movie).

Now though? The pool is too damn thin. There are people, but getting to them is hard. There is one girl though. I found her wallet, and then we started talking. I think she likes me. Nice looking too.

And in public, NEVER show your nerdliness. It's the biggest turnoff in the free world. (I don't consider myself a nerd, just a bit shy at times)
PostSat Mar 15, 2003 5:03 pm
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Spookmonkey

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you gotta work the nerd/geek public tendancies in over a period of time. unfortunatly that can be a hard thing to do.
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PostSun Mar 16, 2003 1:55 am
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Cooolcorey

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I think that's my problem, I'm too shy. The girls know I exist, but I just don't talk to them. I'm not too worried about it though, since most girls in our school "get around" quite well, I'm not sure I want to "go" with them.
PostSun Mar 16, 2003 2:46 am
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-Mithron-

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I've never had any trouble getting into a relationship. The trouble is only after it begins. Thats what women are, nothing but trouble. But what good is life without that uncertainty of chaos. Don't fear rejection unless you want to live a calm stable boring life. But as a general rule, girls with mob connections are to be avoided, usually.
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PostSun Mar 16, 2003 4:08 am
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JohnnyPsycho

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Joined: Nov 14, 2002
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Here's some advice I gave to CP in Martin's bar, but since it's currently invisible (page 81 of 80? I still can't figure out how that shit happens in here), I figured I'd post it here. Besides, it sounds like the rest of you could use this same bit of advise as well...

-------

For CP's prom situation, I would say just go up to her (whoever she is) and just ask if she has a date to the prom. That's it. I know, you're going to say "It's not that simple," but guess what? I really is that simple. The reason you don't think it is is because you have a fear of rejection. Guess what? Rejection isn't all that bad.

"Yeah, right, but what if she acts really insulted that a guy like me even asked her out?"

Then that means she's not someone you'd want to go out on a date with anyway. Think about it, if a girl acts like a total jerk about the fact that you gathered enough courage to ask her out, then she's not your type. You can usually get a good idea if a girl's going to be a total snob about it even before you ask her. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You will always be able to "feel out" what type of personality she has by her interactions with her friends and with you, etc. The best thing is to know something about her personality before even attempting to ask her out. I know it's a dumb teenager move to ask a girl out without having any idea what type of person she is, basing the entire decision upon her looks, etc. (I know, I've done it myself before). So, if you're really interesting in asking this girl out, at least know ahead of time that she's not going to be a jerk.

So, let's say, in your scenario, you've already established that she's someone you are attracted personality wise. At this point, I would go with my first bit of advice, which is simply to ask if she's already got a date to the prom. Since she's a nice girl, the worst case scenario is that she simply says yes, but thanks you for your interest.

See? That wasn't so bad, now was it? True, she already has a date and you're out of luck, but hell, there was no embarassment, no awkwardness, no nothing. At this point, you simply reply "That's too bad," or "Okay then," or even "Dang, I should have asked you sooner." DON'T ACT DEJECTED! Whatever you do, don't pout or act like she just tore your heart out. Let it slide, and don't feel bad about it.

Best case scenario? She says no, she doesn't have a date to the prom. At this point, JUST ASK HER!! Again, if you're sure she's a nice girl and might be interested in your company, you have absolutely nothing to fear. She'll probably say yes, or maybe, or "I'll have to think about it"...

SCORE!!

Of course, even if she says she can't, or that her parents don't allow her to date or something, it's still not that big a deal, because now she knows that you are interested. Whatever reasons she has for hesitating or not being interested in going to the prom with you, she'll still know that you had voiced your interest in being her date.

Again, don't act dejected or upset, and don't keep bugging her if she said no the first time. If she's undecided or unsure about her plans for prom, give her some room. You can say that you will give her time to think about it. GIVE HER YOUR PHONE OR EMAIL. Let her know that she can contact you whenever she makes her decision. It'll get pretty tense waiting, but trust me, YOU MUST WAIT AS PATIENTLY AS POSSIBLE! If you see her the next day and she still hasn't made up her mind, DON'T PRESSURE HER. Even asking if she's made up her mind yet is pressuring her to make a decision. So if you see her, DON'T BRING UP THE DATE. She'll bring it up herself in conversation when she's good and ready to.

Realize that asking a girl out is not as momentous a thing as you may think. The world will not tilt off its axis if you don't get your date with her, and your love life will not die prematurely unless you give up even before trying. And yes, not getting a date with her would suck, but that doesn't mean you have to hang up your gloves. If she says no, ASK SOMEBODY ELSE!! Believe me when I say that YOU DO NOT HAVE A "PERMANENT REJECTION" CURSE ON YOU. Keep asking girls out. Don't give up. Persistence pays off in the end.

So, to put this huge essay into one sentence, my advice to you is this: Don't be a pussy and just be yourself. Her head will not explode if you ask her out, and you will not, I repeat, will NOT look like a doofus as long as you look at the situation logically.

That's all. I can give you advice on what to do on your prom date if you want later.
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PostSun Mar 16, 2003 6:47 am
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JohnnyPsycho

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FinalDivineDragoon wrote:
So any advice for me, or have I just answered myself in one long rant?

Tell her since she doesn't want to date you, then as your friend she must help you find someone who will date you. Trust me. You'll probably drive her insane with jealousy or she may end up finding you somebody.

Actually, the same situation basically happened between my little sister and her best male friend in highschool. Actually, I'm quite sure he still has feelings for her, but he also has dated around since they both left for college. In fact, he has a kid... of course, I'm not saying that following your friend's advise and dating around in college will automatically mean that you'll be knocking up some co-ed, but hell, you can still try... Wink Laughing Twisted Evil
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"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

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PostSun Mar 16, 2003 6:54 am
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JohnnyPsycho

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Beatdiggga wrote:
And in public, NEVER show your nerdliness. It's the biggest turnoff in the free world. (I don't consider myself a nerd, just a bit shy at times)

Well, you can be a little geeky. In fact, often times girls will be attracted to certain geek qualities in guys (I know plenty of girls who think the lead singer from Weezer is hot... no kidding!). But you don't want to be showing off your Mint In Box Boba Fett or your Pokemon Hentai collection...
Spookmonkey wrote:
you gotta work the nerd/geek public tendancies in over a period of time. unfortunatly that can be a hard thing to do.

Yes, but so does working in any of your personality "flaws" in your relationship. Once you can find that person who laughs at your Monty Python quotes or at least doesn't seem to mind when you fart in the bed, HOLD ON TO HER. Of course, you ALSO have to learn to accept HER personality flaws as well, and believe me, some women have the scariest bad habits/personality quirks/dark secrets in the world...
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"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostSun Mar 16, 2003 7:06 am
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dillpops

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I'm not the type of person guys want to go out with...and at my school I'm not popular. I'm 'nice' not 'popular', but then, our schools social ladder is f***ed up badly. All the nasty people are 'popular' and the nice people aren't. And they're not even popular, they've just made their own world within our year where they are king.

I think I'll be spinster when I'm older...
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PostSun Mar 16, 2003 9:24 am
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counterparadox

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JohnnyPsycho wrote:
Beatdiggga wrote:
And in public, NEVER show your nerdliness. It's the biggest turnoff in the free world. (I don't consider myself a nerd, just a bit shy at times)

Well, you can be a little geeky. In fact, often times girls will be attracted to certain geek qualities in guys (I know plenty of girls who think the lead singer from Weezer is hot... no kidding!).


It's true. Tall thin geeks that are part of a band are considered 'hot'. I know one. He gets chicks.

And Dill, the social ladder is like that in every school. Only difference is, it made me not ever want to be popular. I know who my friends are, and I am happy.
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PostSun Mar 16, 2003 10:46 am
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dillpops

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I never said I wasn't happy in spinsterhood and unpopular personhood, if I have to be like them to be 'popular' then I'm glad I'm not. I like who I am and my friends. I just wish I was more outgoing around boys 0_o
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rednekbob9: 1: You're Female
rednekbob9: 2: You're Internet-able
rednekbob9: 3: You like anime
rednekbob9: you're automatically a perfect match
rednekbob9: run like hell
PostSun Mar 16, 2003 11:05 am
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JKyle

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JohnnyPsycho wrote:
Beatdiggga wrote:
And in public, NEVER show your nerdliness. It's the biggest turnoff in the free world. (I don't consider myself a nerd, just a bit shy at times)

Well, you can be a little geeky. In fact, often times girls will be attracted to certain geek qualities in guys (I know plenty of girls who think the lead singer from Weezer is hot... no kidding!). But you don't want to be showing off your Mint In Box Boba Fett or your Pokemon Hentai collection.....
A)Don't try to hide your geekdom in any way. Embrace it. Once you graduate High Schoo no gives a flying [frick*] how you act, just whether they get along with you. But JP is right, don't FLAUNT it. Know what you are and be it. Don't push it on anyway because it won't change the way they react to you.

B)If you own Pokemon Hentai, you've got bigger problems than making friends.

*do you guys cuss here?
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PostSun Mar 16, 2003 1:20 pm
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