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Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Fruit is an illegal substance.
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I found this rather funny, so I thought I'd share this with you guys:
Quote:
Award winning actress and now smuggler, Hilary Swank, has been busted after attempting to smuggle an illegal substance into New Zealand.
The substance in question, fruit, yes..fruit. Swank, who just a few weeks ago picked up an Oscar for Best Actress in "Million Dollar Baby," today is facing serious allegations that she attempted to smuggle an apple and orange into Kiwi country.
After searching through Swank's luggage, officials in New Zealand found undeclared fruit among her soiled panties well used thong and brassiere.
Although authorities refused to say whether the fruit was found stuffed in Swank's brassiere, the New Zealand Post described the find as "suspiciously concealed" as if they were "melons ripe for squeezing," protected from being damaged in a "overly padded bra".
Swank denied allegations that she stuffs her brassiere and responded to the charge with a short, but ripe statement. "I can assure everyone that the fruits allegedly found in my bra are all natural."
Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry spokesman William Minchin said Swank will be dealt with like any common criminal attempting to smuggle illegal substances into New Zealand.
Minchin also suggested Swank may have been working as a food mule for organized crime.
"An X-ray of Swank's intestines clearly showed undigested pasta, seafood, vegetable matter and a piece of partially digested bubble gum, all banned substances in New Zealand," said Minchin in a statement to the media.
An acquaintance traveling with Swank was also searched for illegal substances after one officer suspected him of having something stuffed in his underwear.
"We suspected the man with Swank was attempting to smuggle an undeclared banana into the country, but after closer examination, we determined the bulge in his pants only resembled a banana," said Minchin.
Swank was fined $150 for the undeclared fruit and ordered to stay away from fruit for 6 months, including bananas.
I don't think I even know who Hillary Swank is. _________________ Able and Baker is nice.
Thu Mar 17, 2005 11:54 pm
dougisfunny
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Post subject:
which is why we have google
and obviously importing fruit from other countries is illegal, who knows what sorta weird stuff can come in with it _________________ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Thu Mar 17, 2005 11:57 pm
ToonamiL
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
Importing anything from another country individually (not corporate or federal) is illegal. And celebrities think they are above the law?
Tue Mar 22, 2005 7:34 pm
TylerL
Joined: Oct 10, 2002
Post subject:
Nobody sees the article as a joke? _________________ My old sig was too long.
Tue Mar 22, 2005 8:02 pm
Alshoff
Joined: Jan 26, 2003
Post subject:
TylerL wrote:
Nobody sees the article as a joke?
I could tell it was a joke by the URL.
And I found out Hilary Swank was the Next Karate Kid. _________________ Able and Baker is nice.
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