Wedding countdown

Alshoff · **Alshoff**

I think we need video and play-by-plays of Doug's marital bed efforts with his wife. Then we would be in a better position to give him advice.
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Able and Baker is nice.

Andromaton · **Andromaton**

I'm not so sure I'd like to see Doug in anything close to nekked. Asloff you can watch nekked doug all you want.

Nobuyuki · **Nobuyuki**

Maybe we should change the subject...quickly. Confused

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR MARRIAGE

Good for a laugh anyway... Wink

COMMANDMENT 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But so are thunder and lightning.

COMMANDMENT 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.

COMMANDMENT 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

COMMANDMENT 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

COMMANDMENT 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure
of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

COMMANDMENT 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

COMMANDMENT 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you
finish.

COMMANDMENT 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical,
and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

COMMANDMENT 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.
That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

COMMANDMENT 10
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished..

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled and said,
"Hey!...This thing really works!"
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"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
Wink

"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP

Alshoff · **Alshoff**

Tip for married people who may get divorced: whoever files for divorce first and accuses the other party of abusing the couple's children is much more likely to gain custody of the children.

Tip #2: Always perform genetic tests on your children to confirm that they are yours and that you are not a victim of paternity fraud.

Fact #1: If a wife beats a husband and he calls the cops, the cops will arrest him because he is the "dominant aggressor."

Fact #2: Should a divorce occur and the wife accuse the husband of domestic violence or abuse, she will receive free legal help from the State while the husband gets the shaft.
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Able and Baker is nice.

dougisfunny · **dougisfunny**

finaldragoon77 (2:11:38 AM): do you even mind the fact that people on the boards are trying to delve into the inner workings of your marriage?
DOUG is FUNNY (2:13:04 AM): they are...?
DOUG is FUNNY (2:13:10 AM): *goes looks*

and here I thought I had something to worry about... (turns the webcamera pointed at the bedroom off)
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The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

KeroMia · **KeroMia**

Good for you doug on your marriage,personally I don't share the whole ideals about marriage, but good for you! And everything aside, there's one thing I want to know, cause how shall I put it... the only thing that matters to some women is the size of what's on her fingure.So what type of diamond and how many karats did you give her? I mean really doug one thing is a trip to Jamaica, but what about the diamond on her fingure? Confused

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Tan simple y tan sencillo como eso, el mundo apesta! -inguesu

dougisfunny · **dougisfunny**

its a heart shaped solitare, its .45 carats. Though I must say, the size isn't the most important thing, the cut is a bit more important, for example, the larger heart shape diamonds weren't cut as well and didn't look as good. So we picked the one that looked best. And it is shiny... I don't have a picture of it on hand(buh dun chh). So i can't very well show you. Besides that, but is harder to wear under gloves.
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The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?


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