Spike TV

Fodder · **Fodder**

Ludwicka as a married father of two with a full size wife. I know more about bras then I ever wanted to. Smile

John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo · **John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo**

Ludwika · **Ludwika**

Fodder · **Fodder**

I apoligize Ludwika the added C was a sign of respect for your past accomplishments. Yeah thats the ticket.

Spookmonkey · **Spookmonkey**

LUIWDEZKKA!!!111!1!11//11111!!... you know, your name is hard to translate into the ultimate spellingmistake language of the n00b.
_________________
"Veni. Vedi. Spooki." - Julius Caesar
I came. I saw. I spooked.

He's better than Pop-Rocks!

Nobuyuki · **Nobuyuki**

Just because I feel like derailing the discussion... Twisted Evil

In Fairness To Men

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

# 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you
need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

# 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

#1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

# 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

# 1. Crying is blackmail.

# 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We'll get it for you, but just LET US KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!!!

# 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

# 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

# 1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Please pick one.

# 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

# 1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a doctor.

# 1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as you hear it.

# 1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments
become null and void after seven days.

# 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

# 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer, but still love you.

# 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

# 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

# 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

# 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over
it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

# 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit,
not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

# 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

# 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how
little we care about you.

#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are
lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

# 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

# 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really, you look fine!!!

# 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

# 1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

# 1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape.
_________________
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
Wink

"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP

Ludwika · **Ludwika**

Nobuyuki · **Nobuyuki**

Just to prove I can be an equal-opportunity offender... Razz

NIGHT CLASSES FOR MEN
> Classes for Men at our Local Learning Center for Adults. - SIGN
> UP NOW
>
>
> Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their
> contents,
> each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.
>
> TOPIC 1 -
> How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays.
> Step by step, with slide presentations.
>
> TOPIC 2 -
> The Toilet Paper Roll: Do They Grow on the Holders?
> Round table discussion.
>
> TOPIC 3 -
> Is it Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the
Seat
> Up
> and Avoiding the Floors/Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
> Group practice.
>
> TOPIC 4 -
> Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the
Floor.
> Pictures and explanatory graphics.
>
> TOPIC 5 -
> The After-Dinner Dishes and Silverware: Can They Levitate and
Fly
> into the Kitchen Sink?
> Examples on video.
>
> TOPIC 6 -
> Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
> Help line support and support groups.
>
> TOPIC 7 -
> Learning How to Find Things, Starting With Looking in the Right
> Place
> Instead of Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.
> Open forum.
>
> TOPIC 8 -
> Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers is NOT Harmful to Your
Health.
> Graphics and audio tape.
>
> TOPIC 9 -
> Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost.
> Real life testimonials.
>
> TOPIC 10 -
> Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly as She Parallel
> Parks?
> Driving simulation.
>
> TOPIC 11 -
> Learning to Live: Base Differences Between Mother and Wife.
> On-line class and role playing.
>
> TOPIC 12 -
> How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
> Relaxation exercises, meditation, and breathing techniques.
>
> TOPIC 13 -
> How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays,
> Anniversaries,
> Other Important Dates, and Calling When You're Going to Be Late.
> Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
>
> * Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the
> few
> survivors. *
_________________
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
Wink

"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP


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