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  Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Great Moments in Stupidity
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Great Moments in Stupidity
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Beefy

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Joined: Nov 13, 2002
Post subject: Great Moments in Stupidity
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This thread is the place to tell the world about stupid things you or someone you know have done. Things you've seen on Jackass don't count unless you or someone you know was performing the stunt.

I'll start off with a classic: I locked my keys in my car today. Mad
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#190: Hear all, trust nothing.
PostTue Dec 10, 2002 11:01 pm
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Gerbera345

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Joined: Nov 06, 2002
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I had one of my famed 'Mihoshi Moments' and plowed into a wall while talking, to make it it even more of a goober, I was talking a mile a minute and simply walked right into the wall.
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PostTue Dec 10, 2002 11:19 pm
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Rycel

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Joined: Nov 09, 2002
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If you want bizzare, look no further than here: http://www.frontrowmorningshow.com/freaks.html I listen to them on the way to college in the morning, and the Freak Report is different every day. Nothing like hearing about a man who blew his genitals off with a shotgun to get you going in the morning.

Anyways, here's one of my many exploits on my life's journey called stupidity. I was at a barbershop quartet competition in Fresno, Califoria, and was hanging out with five other members of the two quartets that came along with us. The hotel we were staying at had a 24-hour gym and nobody was in there just then. They had a power treadmill by the wall and our curiosity got the better of us. One guy started it up, then gradually increased the speed and elevation as he ran. He was about to bite it so he got off. We then ramped the sucker up to as fast and high as it would go (30 degree incline, 16 mph). Being the genius I am, I placed my feet on the platforms to the sides of the treadmill belt and placed my weight on the handlebars. After uttering those famous last words, "Hey, watch this!" I jumped up and started pedaling my legs in midair. The thought process was that I would hit the belt running like an olympian. Needless to say, I was severely b****-slapped by the laws of physics. I ended up bent over backwards, on my stomach, with my face grinding against the belt. We all laughed our asses off, but my nose and upper lip were numb for the next couple of days.
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"Great Ironies of Our World": Why is orange juice yellow?
PostTue Dec 10, 2002 11:23 pm
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Zechs

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
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Rofl, I did the exact thing one time Scraped my knees to the bone and my gums bled for an half hour at least.
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PostWed Dec 11, 2002 3:42 pm
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dougisfunny

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Joined: Oct 29, 2002
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fastest treadmill i was ever on only did 12 mph... but i'd say the lawnmower blades that took my toe off were g oing a lot faster than that...
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The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
PostWed Dec 11, 2002 5:55 pm
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Spookmonkey

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
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probably the stupidest thing I've done was to jump out of a moving vehicle, it was probably doing about 20-25 mph at the time. tree's make great cusions.
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"Veni. Vedi. Spooki." - Julius Caesar
I came. I saw. I spooked.

He's better than Pop-Rocks!
PostWed Dec 11, 2002 6:54 pm
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John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo

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Joined: Nov 13, 2002
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Well, I might eventually get to my many concussions, but I think my favorite one was being warned by a school crossing guard not to run on the wet cement (I was 9 or 10), and me shouting, "too bad," and running on it anyway. Let's just say that's still one hell of a scar on my knee...
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PostWed Dec 11, 2002 9:52 pm
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Force-Attuned_Krogoth

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Joined: Nov 10, 2002
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I've done some fairly stupid things in my day. My favorite landed me a position as poster child for the buddy system.

My Scout Troop was hiking into and out of Ubehebe Crater. On the way out, I (in my infinite 11-year-old wisdom) decided to climb up the straight gravel slope. I was going fine, on my own, until the gravel ran out. By this time, I was the only one left in the crater, and I couldn't get any farther up.

Eventually, the Scoutmaster and a soon-to-be Eagle scout came down to help me. They guided me to the footholds, and we got to the top. That was the easy part.

I learned that day that adults, especially those who bear legal responsibility for 15 of somebody else's children, don't like surprises. I got chewed out by no less than 6 people for my "stunt."


On the bright side, there are pictures Embarassed
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Attacks are enhanced but defense weakens.
"Wait, that's not the cure button ... "
PostWed Dec 11, 2002 10:10 pm
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John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo

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Joined: Nov 13, 2002
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All right, here's something I wrote for my creative writing class. It hasn't been completely spell checked and all that, but it's still definately worth the read--although I could've made the ending a little funnier, I suppose.

Watch Your Head
“Get his flag, John!”
Wow, genius, what did you think, I was watching the grass? It’s not like there’s anything else to do on this field but play this dumbed down version of a nearly half way decent “sport.” Oh well, I’m already half way to intercepting this guy charging down the field. How could he have managed to dodge by two of my teammates? For that matter how am I already two thirds way to meeting this guy- goes to show how little mental capacity this game takes. 90% mental if you’re G.W. Bush. Oh well, here we are- better go for his flag. I’ll just reach down and-
Thunk
John stumbled backwards for a second.
OW! What hit me, his elbow? I’m gonna be so pissed if that was his elbow that just hit me. Ouch, that hurt. He caught be right in the temple. Aw, headache. Oh dear- I’ve got a concussion.
John has gotten quite a few concussions in his life, you see, so he generally knows the ins and outs of the more minor ones. He was never an abused or bullied child, just always careless over daring, or clumsy- and hence had many bouts with a long headache often followed by a little vomiting, and possibly a few minutes of unconsciousness. But this time he was pretty lucky- he felt he could probably go through the rest of the day of school- no vomiting, no passing out, not even much of a headache.
“Are you okay, John?”
Well, not really I probably should quit playing, but I can make it through the day. Plus I have to make that little punk pay for nailing me in the head with his elbow.
It turns out his opponent carrying the ball had actually looked past John, sure that he would easily maneuver around him and was concentrated on his next task. In his inattention he had actually hit John with his own head.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need to kneel down between plays for a little bit.”
Several plays passed, John tended to kneel down when his mass or presence wasn’t needed, or was too far from the ball for use. (You see, Mr. Weaver’s students weren’t so good at following directions and not having a line of scrimmage or any body contact in the first place- and Mr. Weaver wasn’t too good at punishing students for disobeying rules that he didn’t set.) The terrible team John was on, of course couldn’t make whatever silly requirement for another set of downs within the first three, so they kicked the ball off, resulting in an identical situation to that as at the beginning of our story.
Ooh, looks like I get to come to the rescue. Once again, I’ll reach for his flag, and-
Smack
John pulled himself off the ground, his head throbbing. Hew was visibly dizzy, and struggled to stand.
“You okay?”
No I’m not okay, stupid. Didn’t you see that? Didn’t you hear that?
“I think I’m gonna sit the rest of this game out,” he murmured as he headed towards the edge of the field.
The class ended, the “hero” of our story changed out of his P.E. clothes, and went on his way to his next class, with a rather large pain in the head, and not quite having full thinking capabilities, but he was rather determined to make it through the day. His next class was a lab based class with a partner system, so he figured it’d be time that David pull his weight- John could sort resistors.
Except John couldn’t sort resistors. After several assurances to his lab partner that he was “okay”, he had realized for the severalth time that he was not. The proof to this came when he was asked to produce a 100 ohm resistor. He sat about his task, and realized that none of the colors on the resistors were quite right. In fact some of them were changing.
All right, this can’t be good. I can’t even see colors right now. Oh look, here comes the teacher. Oh dear, everything’s turning pink. The table, the walls, the floor. Okay, well the floor’s always pink, but not this shade.
“Are you okay, Johnathan?”
“Okay,” these people need to stop using that word. Don’t they know that that’s a dead word now? Right up there with big and said. Don’t they know they’re perpetuating the abuse of our beautiful, chock full of synonym language.
“Do you think you should see the nurse?”
“Yeah, I think I probably should,” he slurred, as the teacher was already writing out a pass, and John was headed for the nurse’s office.

So, tired. I just feel like giving up. They tell me to stay awake- that they couldn’t tell if I’m dead or not if I were asleep. Now here I am at the hospital, in the emergency room. A cat scan. Yay. That’s what I’m supposed to get. But all I want to do is fall asleep- I’m so tired. So tired. I give up. I don’t even care if I die now- it’s so peaceful, sitting here. I wouldn’t be missed. I could give up right now- it wouldn’t be so bad a time to go. Sure, I’ve got my life ahead of me, but I’ve got my mom right here. Ah, too much noise to die. Plus mom would never forgive me, neither would half my friends. And Steve would think down on me for giving up so easily. All I have to do is stay awake. That shouldn’t be so hard, right? But it his. It is. It’s about the hardest thing I’ve ever done- just to keep awake. At least I can speak now, back in the nurse’s office, I couldn’t even talk- the language center of my brain must’ve gotten hit pretty hard. My mom sounded rather distraught when my school called her. If I’m so bad right now, why didn’t they send an ambulance. My mom’s probably not rich enough- that or some two year old that bumped his elbow got priority over me, like that other time I almost died. What’s taking so long? Hello, young teenage boy dying over here. Anyone wanna help? Well, I know I already threw up in the nurse’s office, and that made me feel a little better at least. Speaking of that nurse, I liked her. She was the only one that asked, “Are you feeling well,” and not “Are you feeling okay?” But I really don’t feel like throwing up right now- I’ve cleared it out of my system, but I guess if they’re in no hurry…
Ah, that got them moving. I should be in there in no time.

“I’m so glad my baby’s okay.”
Well, I’m glad to hear that I suppose, mom. It would be a shame for me to die, being your little last hope of making a big good impression on the world. You would never forgive me anyway- not that it would matter to me, I suppose, but it would for you, I guess. But I just want to get home and out of this car. Now that they know I didn’t rupture any arteries in my brain, I can finally get some sleep…
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PostWed Dec 11, 2002 10:21 pm
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Spookmonkey

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
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phfft... that ending wasn't funny at all.
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"Veni. Vedi. Spooki." - Julius Caesar
I came. I saw. I spooked.

He's better than Pop-Rocks!
PostWed Dec 11, 2002 10:48 pm
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John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo

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My bad. I always finish these things in a hurry, so I have to make the real ending at another time. One of my stories I capped off with an easy ending at page 4, where it would have gone to seven.
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PostWed Dec 11, 2002 11:40 pm
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Spookmonkey

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I'd rather have the 3 extra pages and a funny ending personally. you started to break "character" towards the end of that as well.
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"Veni. Vedi. Spooki." - Julius Caesar
I came. I saw. I spooked.

He's better than Pop-Rocks!
PostWed Dec 11, 2002 11:57 pm
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Beefy

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Joined: Nov 13, 2002
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While I haven't had any bad experiences with a treadmill, I have had a few with my computer.

One time I was working on my computer, I had the case open because I wanted to see which fan was making lots of noise. Anyway, while the computer was on and the case was open, I bumped my glass of root beer off my desk and into my computer. Let's just say it's a good thing there's circuit breakers.

Computers don't seem to last long with me.

More stories of Beefy's stupid deeds to come... stay tuned.
PostThu Dec 12, 2002 12:25 am
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Dreadnot

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stupidity? Ok. I have this 3 inch x 2.5 inch piece of cardboard, and I always used it as a target for my blowgun. *I could hit it at 25 feet* So I set it up on my bookshelf cause I was bored, and it was late. I take aim *pfft* Haha, I hit it. well thats no suprise. What suprised me was that the dart went threw it, hitting a newly purchased can of "Liquide Wrench" Yep.. about 60% of the contents sprayed onto my floor.. boy oh boy, that was fun to clean up.. my room smelled like that for a month.
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FFXI: Heavens Redmage. Level 75

'Oh,' he said.
YES, said Death.
'Not even time to finish my cake?'
NO. THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.
T. Pratchett - Night Watch*
PostThu Dec 12, 2002 2:00 am
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Ludwika

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One of my more incoherent moments was looking for my sunglasses and getting pissy about at everyone, sure you might say what so dumb about that? Well, it was a dumb moment because it turns out I had been wearing them all along.
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Tan simple y tan sencillo como eso, el mundo apesta! -inguesu
PostThu Dec 12, 2002 3:43 am
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